


Our Lives Don't Collide

by 332Roses



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hollywood AU, M/M, TW: Homophobia, also swearing, bi!Dan, famous actor!dan, famous actor!phil, gay!phil, tw: being publically outed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-06 01:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/332Roses/pseuds/332Roses
Summary: Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what's worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.





	1. out of the closet (1)

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to @definitelynot-danielhowell aka Kristie for editing this fic! And everyone in the writing gc I'm in for their support, I wouldn't have the courage to post this without them! I'm @ratandphilgames on tumblr, stop by if you want!

Nothing was meant to come of the night, he was just going drinking with some old uni friends and he wasn’t going to be famous actor Philip Lester for once. He was going to be fun, free, reckless Phil Lester. What he ended up being was a dumbass. 

 

He’d been drunk. He’d been drunk and horny and lonely. It was a mistake for him to think he’d been safe, to assume he could go back to being that kid he was in uni just because all his old friends were around. He wasn’t the same kid he was in uni, now he was famous and he had little kids looking up to him and nobody knew he was gay. He couldn’t just do what he wanted anymore. The alcohol, however, made him think otherwise. 

 

The moment Phil let his guard down, shit really hit the fan. He was drinking and when his university friends had to leave, he decided he had to stay. The night was still young, and Phil was determined to prove he was too. 

 

He started talking to the cute guy that had been making eyes at him from across the bar. The guy didn’t mention seeing Phil in any movies and that was enough reassurance for Phil’s tipsy mind. Still, he wasn’t a complete idiot. He suggested that if anything were to continue they should move to the alleyway and a minute later that’s where they were. Making out. 

 

Phil didn’t noticed the black SUV parked at the end of the alleyway, he was too focused on the task at hand. It wasn’t until he saw the flash of a camera that he realized he’d royally fucked up. In a split second there were several more bright-ass lights in his face, then the boy he was with fled to the car with the cameras, and it sped off. 

 

It didn’t take a genius to realize Phil had been set up. Immediately he sobered up and processed everything that went down. The alley boy undoubtedly worked with the man driving the car and taking the pictures. He’d used Phil to get a quick buck from a scandalous picture. That shit sold for thousands. 

 

Before another paparazzi could show up, Phil whipped out his phone and called a car to come get him. Where there was one of the clingy bastard, there would be more and Phil was not about to wait around for them to show up. 

 

It wasn’t uncommon for journalists to go ‘undercover’ in attempts to get more information from celebrities, but it was a whole new level of low to trick Phil like that. The more he thought about it, the more red flags he saw surrounding the guy. His dumb alcohol induced brain just chose to ignore every single one of them. 

 

By the time his car arrived, Phil was fighting back tears and trying desperately to figure out any sort of way he could salvage the situation, but nothing was coming to mind. 

 

He needed to talk to his management team asap. They were good in these kinds of situations, they could help make everything right again. 

 

With tears still in his eyes, he dialed his managers number into his phone and prayed to the gods that he would pick up at this hour. 

 

Being caught with a boy attached to your lips wasn’t exactly easy to explain when you were seen as straight to the rest of the world, no matter if you never actually said you were straight. 

 

Fuck. He  _ really _ fucked this one up. 

 

\-----

 

Dan woke up  around 8am to the sound of a bell. Waves of confusion overcame him as he tried to find the source of the sound. He slammed his fist on the snooze button, attempting to turn off his alarm clock, but found it wasn’t on at all, as it shouldn’t be. He had absolutely no reason to be awake this early.

 

After an embarrassingly long time, he realized the sound was coming from his phone, hidden somewhere in his duvet. By the time he found the shiny box of magic, the noise had stopped and Dan realized that he had missed a call. 

 

He gathered his thoughts for a moment and then checked his notifications. 

 

_ One missed call: Shannon the momager  _

 

He was going to be in big trouble if he ignored Shannon. She’d been his manager since he had started his career and truth be told, she was like a second mom to him, hence the momager. 

 

With a big, excessive sigh, (he was an actor after all, he had to dramatic) he clicked the call back button and sat up in bed. It was unlikely she was going to let him fall back asleep after this, so Dan figured he might as well get a headstart on waking up. 

 

“Hey Shan, you called?” He yawned while speaking, so it came out far more slurred than intended. 

 

“Yes, I did, lazybutt, I’m sending a car your way. There’s a big idea in the works and I need you to be here like, now. Like yesterday, actually. Sam’s waiting on you.” 

 

“Yes ma’am.” 

 

Dan wasn’t going to argue with her, despite the 8am call in, mostly because Sam was involved. Sam, his ‘agent’ only got involved if there was a movie opportunity, or some sort of contract that needed to be signed, because legally, Shannon couldn’t do that crap. That never stopped her from getting involved, though. 

 

The last ‘Sam is involved so get your ass here fast’ call Dan had gotten was because the casting director for a new and upcoming film had loved him in his previous work and requested an audition with him personally. 

 

That audition had resulted in Dan getting a huge supporting role in “Switch Hitter” a movie about a young baseball player juggling the fact that he likes boys… and girls. Equally as much. It was the bisexual representation Dan dreamed of, and he got to be a part of it. It had yet to be released, but there was a lot of talk of award season already, and it was set to do very well.  

 

When he first started out in the industry he faced a lot of biphobia. He’d been out since he was 14, and despite the quickly progressing world, a lot of people turned him down once they learned he identified as bisexual. It was tough, but eventually Dan ended up on Shannon’s doorstep, and she took him under her wing. She found him an agent, Sam, who worked his magic and got Dan some amazing auditions. He was only ever unapologetically himself and people loved it. He was a fast growing bicon, and quickly became a fan favorite. 

 

As soon as the call with Shannon ended, Dan was scrambling around to find clothes and straighten his hair, something he probably wouldn’t have done on this particular day had he not gotten this wake up call. But he was going outside, which meant he needed to look perfectly presentable. There were people with cameras everywhere, meaning in even the short distance from his door to the car he would be photographed tens of times. 

 

He was constantly aware of the scrutiny he would endure for every little thing he did when a camera was around. What he wore, how he walked, his posture, how his hair looked. Everything. It was a lot of pressure for a 22 year old mess. 

 

By the time he was unplugging his straightener, there was a knock at the door meaning the car had arrived. He was sprinting around his room, looking for some kind of matching shoes (preferably black) and running low on time. 

 

Dan managed to stumble to the front door of his unnecessarily large home with his phone in his hand and his shoes on his feet, which was a win in his book. Upon opening the door, he was met with the icy eyes of his bodyguard, Andreas, who seemed to dislike Dan on an impersonal level (and maybe on a personal level). The people pleaser in Dan tried to let it go, but sometimes it really stung. 

 

“Ready?” 

 

“Yeah… yeah.” 

 

It was awkward, having someone walk you from your front door to a car not even 10 feet away, but there had been some incidents and having Andreas around, despite his frosty attitude, made Dan feel a bit safer. 

 

Per usual, a few fellows were perched right behind the iron gate installed all around the property, itching to get a shot of Dan leaving his house.

 

Dan’s driveway was unnecessarily long, to try and discourage people (paparazzi) from driving down it so it took a solid 5 minutes before they were even on a real road. By the time they were pulling up to his agents office building, it had been a solid 30 minute drive of pure silence. Andreas wasn’t much of a talker. 

 

By ‘here’ Dan had assumed Shannon meant her office, but the driver had taken him straight to Sam’s. Business was really going down today. 

 

Andreas ushered Dan out of the car, thankfully few seemed to care about his existence at the moment. 

 

After entering the building, Dan was directed into an elevator. He had a lovely bout of awkward silence as annoying little tunes played in the background. Once, when Dan had first been introduced to Andreas, he had tried making small talk in a situation similar to this He had been met with a stern glare and a ‘we aren’t friends, I work for you.’ which had been very blunt, but very true. He’d been warned by Shannon prior that he was not to make a friend out of Andreas, as that would ‘compromise his morals’ or some shit. Really, it just made him feel awful lonely most the time.  

 

They reached Sam’s office and Dan knocked on the door rhythmically. He was always unsure if he had to knock. 

 

“Come in!” hollered a shrill voice that was unmistakably Shannon. Andreas stepped in first, ensured the area was safe, and then exited. The little routine check always threw Dan off his rhythm, but it was essential if he was going to be left alone in a room, according to Andreas. As soon as Andreas left the room, the door was shut and he was undoubtedly standing on the other side of it, bored out of his mind. 

 

Sam, sitting behind his big executive and fancy looking desk, motioned for Dan to sit down in the empty chair next to Shannon, who was looking at him with excited eyes. Surely only good news could come of today's meeting. 

 

“A  _ huge _ opportunity unlike any other has fallen right in our laps, Dan.” Shannon started off, clearly unable to keep her enthusiasm contained. 

 

“Daniel-” Sam always used his elongated name when addressing him “you will be required to sign an NDA today before we will disclose any information about this business opportunity. Do you understand?” 

 

This was not new. Non-disclosure agreements were common in this line of work, when the public is avidly trying to dig into your personal life. It’s important to make sure the information you don’t want out there, isn’t getting out. Sometimes the only way you can hold people accountable is through legal binds. He had to sign them in many instances, usually so he could read a script for a high budget film in order to audition. 

 

“Yeah, I understand.” He answered, and before he could even blink, a piece of paper was being handed to him along with a pen. 

 

“Your legal team looked it over this morning. Read it and then sign if you wish to continue.” Sam was being overly professional in this case and it was making Dan nervous. No matter how many of these papers he signed, he always felt like he was going to be tricked some way or another. He’s seen too many lawyer shows to be unsuspecting of loopholes thrown in. No matter how many professional lawyers looked over the piece of paper and confirmed his safety in signing, it always felt just a bit sketchy. 

 

This document was fairly standard, and after reading through it Dan felt as though it was safe enough to sign. As soon as he had committed ink to pen and wrote out his name Shannon started talking. 

 

“So here’s the basic rundown, there is a certain actor who is in a sticky situation, and you're the perfect person to unstickify the situation.” 

 

Shannon was being very vague. Very unsettlingly vague. 

 

“Just, look at this picture.” Sam said as he handed Dan his phone. Displayed on the screen was an image of 2 boys kissing. 2 very familiar looking boys. 

 

The first being Phil Lester, academy award nominee for best actor and Dan's ‘celebrity crush’ should he be forced to give an answer. 

 

The second boy in the photo looked very similar to Dan, in fact the only reason he knew he wasn't the one in the photo is because he was pretty fucking sure he'd remember snogging Phil motherfucking Lester, no matter how drunk he was. 

 

After a long stare at the image, Dan remembered people were still in front of him. 

 

“That's not me.” He said quietly, afraid they were accusing him of pulling a publicity stunt. Not that he would be upset if that were him. Phil was  _ very  _ handsome. 

 

“No, we know it's not you. But the  _ public _ doesn’t know that.” 

 

Shannon was still being vague as fuck and Dan was so beyond lost. 

 

“I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. Is that actually Phil Lester? As in the actor? What the hell does this have to do with me?” 

 

“So basically, he was outed by the paparazzi last night, and to minimize casualties his management team is attempting to make it look like a loving relationship, instead of a drunken hookup. Try to keep some dignity and all that. They’ve contacted us because, as the internet has pointed out, you look very similar to the boy in the photo. All you have to do is confirm it’s you and everyone will believe it.” 

 

Sam was a lot more blunt when it came to, well, anything. 

 

“Wait, wait, _wait_. You want me to pretend to be the boy in the picture? Isn’t that like, lying?” 

 

“It’s showbiz, Dan. Lot’s of celebrities have purely ‘Hollywood’ relationships. It’ll be great positive publicity for you  _ and _ it’ll help get Phil out of a hole. The man just got outed unexpectedly, his team is trying to salvage the situation. I think this will be a great step for your career.” 

 

This was… not what Dan had been anticipating when he got the phone call at 8am. 

 

Sam had done all the talking, and Shannon, who never shut up, was being uncharacteristically quiet. 

 

“Shan? What do you think?” Her job was to manage him after all, Dan wanted her opinion on what he should do. 

 

“I think this is a good idea  _ if _ you think you can handle upholding a believable relationship for the length of time they demand. We can set up a meeting and discuss the details if you think you want to pursue this, otherwise we won’t waste our time. It’s all up to you, hun.” 

 

_ It’s all up to him.  _

 

“Okay, then I guess we should set up a meeting. I’m not saying yes to anything yet, but I’ll hear what his team has to say.” 


	2. bored meeting (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what's worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for all the support I've gotten! To everyone who reblogged, liked, left kudos, or comments, I LOVE YOU! Thank you for being the motivation to get me to write! Also thanks so much to the writing gc for inspiring me <3

The meeting, as it turned out, was prioritized over all other business for the day. Within the hour, Phil’s management team was sitting in a boardroom on the ground floor of Sam’s office building.  

 

Time was of the essence when it came to confirming or denying a rumor. So far the picture had been in the news for 3 hours which was 3 too many in the eyes of a publicist. 

 

“Dan, they’re downstairs. Still want to go through with this?” 

 

Did he still want to go through with this? That was a good question. Over the last hour Dan and Shannon had been talking back and forth about what a ‘Hollywood’ relationship would entail. He’d been assured that there would be absolutely no way that this could fire back on him, that every single person who was let in on the secret had too much riding on this secret as well that they wouldn’t spill it. Still, years of Hollywood had taught Dan not to trust people easily. 

 

“Yeah, let’s go down.” 

 

Based on the situation, the pros were seeming to outweigh the cons at the moment. He would be earning some good karma, doing a good thing. 

 

Dan, Shannon, and Sam all exited the room only to run into Andreas, who was still standing right outside the door. He’d just been waiting for them to reappear for a whole hour. Being a bodyguard sounded boring as hell. 

 

They took the elevator down to the ground floor and the little group managed to find the room Phil's “people” were in. It was easy to tell based on which room had a lonely looking bodyguard standing outside. 

 

“Last chance to back out.” Shannon was giving him an unsettling amount of ways to get out of this. Why couldn’t she be this forgiving when it came to mandatory parties? 

 

“No, no, I’m good. Let’s go.” 

 

“Your call champ, just don’t let them bully you in there. I think they really want this deal to go through, but just remember you can decline the offer and be nonetheless for it.” 

 

Dan ignored the fact that Shannon had just called him ‘champ’ and instead tried to find comfort in her words. He was the one with the upper hand, if anything sounded too hard or would make him uncomfortable he didn’t have to do it. It was all up to him. 

 

“Let’s do this thing.” 

 

Dan opened the door slowly and quietly, something he picked up from trying to sneak around places without being noticed. 

 

As soon as Dan stepped into the room 2 different people stood to go over and shake his hand. 

 

“Thank you for meeting with us, Mr. Howell.” Mr. Howell, that was new. Almost everyone he’d ever met had already known his first name and prefered to use it.  

 

As soon as the ‘business’ people got their handshake they sat back down in their little rolly chairs and Dan was met with the startling realization that Phil motherfucking Lester was sitting, in a suit, on the left side of the board room table. 

 

_ Now is not the time to fanboy, you dense loaf of bread.  _

 

But he was real. Phil Lester was sitting right in front of him, in the flesh. It took everything in Dan’s power to stop himself from staring for too long. Phil was an attractive ass man, it wouldn’t be  _ hard  _ to pretend to be in love with him. 

 

Dan, Shannon, and Sam all took their seats at the table. Andreas, true to his boring bodyguard fashion, stood outside. Maybe he would become friends with Phil’s boring bodyguard and there would be some star crossed lover shit going down. He knew very little about Andreas, he could be the gayest man to ever live for all he knew.  

 

“So let’s go ahead and get down to business.” 

 

Just based off his own experience with having a ‘team’ the woman taking charge and asking them to get down to business like they had to defeat the huns, was likely Phil’s agent. 

 

Phil had a couple more people in his corner than Dan did, presumably because Phil didn’t have the support system extraordinaire that was Shannon Eckert. She did the work of a publicist, manager, and occasional therapist all at once. 

 

“Agreed.” There went Sam, proving his point, taking charge as the agent. 

 

“Right off the bat we just need to know if maintaining a ‘Hollywood’ relationship is on the table for Daniel. Does he think he is capable?” 

 

Immediately everyone started talking as though Dan wasn’t able to hear them. Phil’s agent lady had been directly addressing Sam and it kind of sucked. 

 

“We’ve talked it over and he is confident that it is definitely something he can accomplish successfully.” 

 

Again with the ‘pretend Dan isn’t here’ bullshit. He’d never been confident in anything he’d done in his life, but Sam was playing hype man and trying to negotiate a contract. Saying ‘well maybe he’ll do okay’ just didn’t flow well on paper. 

 

Suddenly there was an unexpected amount of pressure being placed on Dan’s shoulders. Was he capable? What exactly was he supposed to be capable of? Posting a cute instagram photo of the 2 of them? Kissing in front of paparazzi? It didn’t sound much different than his day job. His whole career was built on pretending, it’s kind of the whole point of acting. 

 

“Ok, with that out of the way we should talk timeline. We’re thinking a nine month relationship that ends mutually, Neither party is to blame, it just didn’t work out.” 

 

9 months was a long time, far longer than shooting any movie would take. It would mean staying in character everytime Dan went anywhere, on social media, in interviews. 

 

“Dan? Your thoughts?” 

 

Oh shit. 

 

Now Sam had decided to address him, when he was caught off guard. 

 

_ You have the upper hand.  _

 

“I would prefer 6 months to start. Maybe we could do, like I don’t know, a contract renewal for 3 more months if things are going well.”  

 

The idea of commiting to something for  _ 9 _ months was just a little bit terrifying. 6 months, for whatever reason, seemed far more doable for Dan. Despite the improper language, Sam seemed to agree. The approving nods Dan got made him feel somewhat accomplished. 

 

In the hypothetical scenarios that Shannon and Sam had run him through, 6 months had been the standard they had been expecting. Dan wanted to stay as true to what he’d been anticipating as possible. 

 

“Sounds great.” 

 

Phil’s agent had probably not been expecting Dan to voice his opinion as she looked very shocked. One of the other people from Phil’s team was furiously typing on a keyboard and Phil himself looked distant, like he was in his own little world. 

 

“One of our main concerns is the boy in the photo. Has he signed a NDA yet? My client will only sign a contact such as the one you’re proposing if we are confident that this will not paint him in poor light.” 

 

Sam was voicing one of the things that had made Dan hesitant to really latch onto the idea. What if the boy from the photo came forward and disproved everything? Dan would be the one left looking like a liar and a fool. 

 

There was a shared glance between Phil and the agent before anything was said. Things seemed tense, it didn’t seem easy to be the one that was responsible for picking up someone elses messes simply to save face.

 

“We’ve gotten into contact with him and he’s been taken care of. This was a rather unusual circumstance but rest assured that there is no chance this can reflect badly on your clients character.” 

 

If Sam was able to bullshit about Dans confidence levels, he was certain Phil’s agent, who Dan still didn’t know the name of, was able to lie straight through her teeth to make sure Dan was on board with the idea. 

 

The fact that they had been described as ‘unusual circumstances’ only made Dan curious. What  _ exactly _ was he getting himself into? He supposed this was one of those things that he just wouldn’t get to know. If he was kept in the dark he wasn’t able to leak information. A smart business move yet not particularly helpful when it came to Dan’s nosiness. 

 

Shannon, who was sitting next to Dan and in the same ‘don’t speak unless spoken to’ kind of state, pulled out a piece of paper and started writing, purposely positioning the paper so that Dan could read what she was scribbling.   

 

_ This is kind of boring  _

 

The bright yellow legal pad seemed to be drawing attention to itself as Dan grabbed the pen from her and scribbled out his response. They were like kids afraid of being caught passing notes in class. 

 

_ yeah but i need this information to make a DECISION that will effect? affect? IMPACT my life for the next 6 months  _

 

Shannon glanced at the paper and then, to seem less conspicuous across the table, as if she was paying attention to whatever the guy on Phil’s team was saying. His manager, Dan supposed. 

 

_ It’s affect you giant potato also look at Mr. Sunshine over there  _

 

Dan looked up to find Phil quizzically staring at him. The eye contact only lasted about 3 seconds total but Dan  _ swore  _ they were having a secret conversation that was somewhere along the lines of ‘what the fuck are we getting ourselves into.’ 

 

“Dan?” 

 

_ Shit _ . Fuck. 

 

Dan hadn’t been listening. He’d missed the question. Sam was staring at him, waiting for an answer, and Dan had no fucking clue what he was expected to say. 

 

“I’m sorry, I was uhhhhh- I was working out an issue with my manager. Can I hear the question just one more time?” 

 

If Dan could crawl out of his skin and evaporate into the air in that moment he would’ve. Being caught messing around when he was the one to request the meeting made him want to throw up right then and there. 

 

_ Get your goddamn head in the game, Howell. _

 

“You are okay with posting on your personal social media accounts, correct?” 

 

Sam's tone was sharper than before, clearly annoyed with Dan for not paying attention. 

 

“Yes. I'm more than willing to commit to this role and post on my own personal social media accounts.” 

 

Another thing they'd talked about beforehand. In this day and age you couldn't have a believable relationship without a few cute selfies and Twitter rants about love. 

 

Everyone moved on, and soon Dan's negligence was forgotten. A contract was officially drafted. 

 

The relationship would be 6 months. It would be confirmed by Dan on instagram. Neither party was permitted to tell anyone that the relationship was staged. It was prefered that Dan did not take a role in the initial 3 month period to ensure their is proper buildup. At all events applicable, they were to take each other as their ‘plus one’. At least once a month there must be some sort of display of public affection up until the breakup. The breakup would be mutual and after that the contract would end. If both parties agreed that it would be beneficial, the contract will be renewed. If not, that would be that. Dan would be paid for his “services” monthly.  

 

The lawyers would look over the contract and then it would be sent to every person involved to sign. Except Dan hadn’t said he would sign any contracts yet. The meeting was him saying  _ maybe _ to the idea, although everyone was just assuming Dan was going to write his name on that paper. It felt just a little bit manipulative, like he didn’t have a way out. It was a business tactic, no doubt. 

 

2 days. Dan had 2 days before the finalized contract was sent to him and he’d have to make a decision, granted no issue was found. 48 literal hours until he chose how the next 6 months and possibly his whole career would shift. That was high stakes for just 2 days of thought. 

 

At the end of the 2 hour meeting everyone stood up, shook hands, said their thank yous, the whole works. 

 

“We hope to hear from you soon.” 

 

“Thank you for meeting with us.” 

 

“Please let us know your decision at your earliest convenience.” 

 

And then Phil. Phil walked up to him with a meek smile and an outstretched hand. 

 

“Please really consider doing this, it would mean a lot to me.” 

 

Phil walked over to him, Phil Lester, the actor he’d admired for years. Phil Lester, actual Phil Lester, was asking  _ him _ for help. That was a pretty damn good incentive. 

 

All Dan did was smile and nod, something he was good at after years of Hollywood. 

 

They shook hands and just like that the room was clearing out, leaving just Dan, Shannon, and Sam. Just him and his team. 

 

“So, whatda think Dan?” Shannon asked. 

 

_ What were his thoughts?  _

 

On the one hand it would be absolute mayhem if anyone found out he was lying, any number of people could spill the secret and it was really putting his career on the line. But, on the  _ flip _ side, if successfully pulled off, Dan would have a lot of great, positive, publicity, he’d be able to hang out with one of his favorite actors and get to know Phil,  _ plus  _ he would be helping someone out. Not to mention the money involved. 

 

People would stop speculating that him and his co-star from “Switch Hitter” were together, he wouldn’t have to go to all the events alone, his mom would stop asking if he was lonely. 

 

The pros seemed to outweigh the cons by a long shot. 

 

“I think it sounds like a good idea.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated! also anons on my phan blog @ratandphilgames :) ily


	3. shake on it (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what's worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support lovelies! I appreciate all the anons and sweet messages you guys have sent me on my blog @ratandphilgames! Also s/o to Ariana Grande for singing 'god is a woman' bc that song was on repeat the entire time I was writing this chapter lol. I hope you like this chapter!

_Sign on the dotted line_ …………….

 

The dotted line was definitely taunting him. All Dan had to do was write his name and then he’d be in a legally bond relationship. It was like a temporary marriage. No pressure or anything.  

 

Dan was back in Sam’s office, 2 days later. The final contract was sitting in front of him, ready to be signed.

 

He’d been thinking a lot the past 48 hours about this decision.

 

At the beginning Dan was fairly sure he was going to sign the paper but then intrusive thoughts crept into his mind. Would he be able to look his mum in the face and tell her that he was in a happy committed relationship when he wasn’t? That was a lot of intense pressure, lying to your mom was bad. _Baddddddd._

 

After thinking about how much lying to his mum would suck, Dan thought about how proud his mum would be that he’d gotten himself into a good relationship. She was always being the typical mother, worried that he was too lonely, constantly concerned about him. It would be nice to convince her that he was okay, even if only for a short period.

 

Besides, this was just commitment to a role for an extended period of time. Dan was an actor. It wouldn’t be unusual to pretend, it was what he did for a living.

 

The longer Dan spent thinking about it, the more he ignored the bad and focused on the good.

 

So there he was. Sitting in Sam's office, pen in hand, hovering over the paper. Was he really going to sign this contract that bond him to a role for 6 months?

 

Yes, yes he was.

 

His world was going to shift exponentially but almost every way seemed like it would be for the better. Maybe.

 

Maybe not.

 

At this point the only way he could find out was by signing the paper. He’d gone over nearly every scenario in his head and at this point the only way to really figure out was to put his name on that line.

 

So he did. Dan signed his name on the dotted line.

 

He was now officially and legally in a relationship. It felt weird, especially since the interaction with his ‘boyfriend’ had consisted of one sentence and a weirdly elongated staring contest.  

 

“So, now that that’s out of the way, we need to make you two official on instagram.”

 

Shannon was right, that was part of the deal.

 

“How are we supposed to do that? I don’t have a picture of us together.”

 

Sam, who had stayed relatively quiet, simply stared at Dan as if he’d just said the dumbest thing ever.

 

“Daniel, you’ll be seeing him again. When you’re ‘in a relationship’ with someone, you tend to see them more than once.”

 

Oh.

 

So he was going to see Phil again. Soon.

 

Fuck.

 

Something about that fact was both startling and a tad bit titillating.

 

“Right, yeah, I knew that. I guess it just didn’t sink in yet. So when is he coming round?”

 

Again, Dan was met with a dumbfounded look from Sam. He seemed to be missing the obvious today. His mind a little preoccupied, he supposed.

 

“You can’t take the photo here, Dan. That will look sketch. You need to invite him to yours, so paparazzi see him and hype up the relationship.”

 

In order to avoid Sams snark, Shannon stepped in and talked. It hadn’t really occurred to Dan that him and Phil would actually _hang_ out. That he would have Phil inside _his_ house. Suddenly everything became overwhelmingly real.  

 

“Oh, oh shit. Okay. How do I do that?”

 

Apparently it was ‘plan everything without Dan and then act like he’s dumb because he wasn’t let in on the plans’ day.

 

“Dan, there’s this lovely thing called a telephone that you can use. We just have to call his publicist. All you need to do is be at home, which isn’t hard for you.”

 

Wow. Okay. It was also roast Dan day.

 

Sure, Dan didn’t tend to leave his house unless he was filming something. It was just too much hassle to get out when it took so much planning. In public he was expected to keep up appearances. At home he could get away with wearing a baggy tee shirt and sweats with no eye bats.

 

Since ‘Switch Hitter’ was set to come out in 2 months and trailers were starting to drop, Dan was more relevant in the media than usual. If he wasn’t up to leaving his house during his usual schedule, he sure as hell wasn’t wanting to when there was handfuls of paparazzi camping outside his gate.

 

“Tomorrow. Phil will be coming to your house, you will take a photo together that is suitable for coming out on instagram. Nobody will be their to monitor you, I trust you will not need supervision. Please don’t fuck this up Dan.”

 

Out of the whole 5 years Dan had worked with Sam, never once had he heard him curse, let alone at him. Shit was serious, Sam was pulling out the big guns.

 

It was like he was being scolded on having girls (or boys, he’d be out as bi since he was 14) in his room as a teenager. “I trust you will not need supervision” sounded a lot like a threat. Even his mum wasn’t that passive aggressive about being alone with a potential lover.

 

Not that Phil was a potential lover. This was a business relationship, nothing else.

 

 _God_ this was getting awkward already.

 

Dan didn’t want to play the ‘ask a question and get a glare from Sam’ game again so he just nodded in response.

 

And with that Dan was excused from Sams office and told to go home and make his house ‘presentable.’ Shannon offered to help, but Dan assured her he could do it all by himself. He could manage throwing out the old pizza boxes without assistance. The amount of times the paparazzi outside his house had gotten excited that a car was pulling up, only to find it was a pizza delivery boy was astounding.

 

Andreas, per usual, was standing outside the door, just waiting for Dan to walk out. Maybe a day would come when Dan could feel safe going from his house to his agents office but quite frankly that day was not today. On more than one occasion he’d been attacked by paparazzi who took it too far and a couple of times he was met with some very homophobic bystanders who chased him. After all was said and done, he’d rather pay someone and count the money well spent for his peace of mind than be in constant fear with a little more change in his pocket.

 

“Any more stops today?”

 

“No, let’s just head home. You’re probably tired of waiting around for me.”

 

“It’s my job.”

 

No other words were said the rest of the car ride back to Dan’s abode. When they arrived Dan got walked to his house and then him and Andreas parted ways.

 

He only had one day to get his shit together. One day was not enough time to get shit together.

 

Dan contemplated hiring a cleaning service. He honest to god thought about searching one online rather than have to clean up his own filth so his fake boyfriend wouldn’t be so disgusted that he ripped the contract. It wasn’t that his house was _that_ bad, it was just tedious and not how Dan wanted to spend his evening.

 

He started with the takeout boxes and random junk that he just tended to leave around when he was running to get somewhere on time. A pair of shoes, a misplaced watch, some miscellaneous jewelry.

 

Was it weird if he picked up his bedroom? It wasn’t like he was going to entice Phil into his bedroom, but what if he walked past? Maybe Dan would at least make his bed. Try to be semi presentable _just_ in case.

 

Oh god. He sounded like a maniac that thought this relationship was real. He needed to do a quick reality check and realize it was all fake. It was staged. He needed to get that through his thick dick infatuated brain before he managed to screw everything up.

 

 _Shit._ Sam had good reason to tell him not to fuck stuff up.

 

Dan made the executive decision to make his bed, using the excuse that he needed to anyways, to be a ‘functional human.’ His therapist would be proud.

 

As he was just folding down the edge of his duvet there was a buzz. The buzz that meant someone was trying to get into the gate.

 

This was… unexpected. For a brief moment Dan wondered if he had subconsciously ordered a pizza. Or maybe he was receiving a gift basket from Phil’s team from signing the contract. No wait, mail doesn’t get delivered at 5:43 at night.

 

Who the fuck was at his gate?

 

He made his way to the intercom near the front door, the little microphone that allowed him to speak to the person attempting to enter his home. More often than not it was a reporter requesting an ‘impromptu interview.’ Don’t get him wrong, Dan loved answering questions and interacting with people who cared what he said, but at his house, unannounced? That was just unprofessional and unsafe.

 

“Uh, how may I help you?”

 

He was really fucking awkward.

 

_“I’m here to drop off Phil Lester.”_

 

What. The. Fuck.

 

“Is this a prank?”

 

Phil was supposed to be by his house tomorrow. Sam had explicitly told him tomorrow. As in 24 hours, as in not right fucking now.

 

_“No sir, this isn’t a prank.”_

 

The driver sounded a bit annoyed with him but that was the least of Dan’s problems right now. Philip Lester was outside his house a day early and there was no way to prepare because he was asking to be let in _right_ now.

 

“Uh, alright, I’ll open the gate.”

 

As soon as he typed in the code to open the gate he flew to his room to grab his phone. In the time it took for Phils car to pull up, Dan was able to send a quick SOS message to Shannon, asking what the hell was going on.

 

_Ding. Dong._

 

The doorbell was ringing. They were there.

 

How did his hair look? Was what he wearing earlier appropriate for the occasion? What even was the occasion? First date with his fake boyfriend? Was this a date? A ‘fake’ date of course.

 

He opened the door. Standing there, true to the drivers word, was Phil Lester and a very tall, muscular man, that Dan had seen outside the boardroom door days earlier. This was the real motherfucking deal, no prank in sight.

 

Holy fuck.

 

“Uh, come in.” It took everything in Dan to make that statement not come out like a question.

 

The bodyguard stepped off to the side and Dan moved to the side, allowing Phil to walk into Dan’s home. Phil Lester. Walking into Dan’s home. Fuck.

 

“I trust the premise is secure?” Phil’s bodyguard was speaking to him about security. Dan didn’t know anything about that other than Andreas always said he was safe in his home. Nobody had ever broken in, so there was that.

 

“Yep, super secure.”  

 

“Alright, well, call when you need a ride.” This time the bodyguard was addressing Phil. They had gone from a high security professional to a parent dropping off his stepson at a sleepover. At least Dan wasn’t the only awkward one here.

 

Phil nodded, clearly embarrassed by his bodyguards choice of words.

 

And then Phil’s bodyguard closed the door and it was just Dan and Phil, alone, in Dan’s big house. They were just both stood awkwardly by the front door.

 

“Uh, we can head into the lounge if you want.”

 

So they did. Dan led Phil into the lounge and they both sat down on the sofa and they both did that awkward thing where they push their knees together because they didn’t know what to do with themselves.

 

Something had convinced Dan that the great Phil Lester was going to be the talkative, explosive personality he saw on the screen. Dan should’ve known better than anyone that what you saw in the interviews wasn’t the full truth. Phil was just another introverted awkward guy who had a knack for pretending.

 

“I’m going to go make a call real quick, I’ll be right back.”

 

Shannon had texted him back with a simple ‘call me.’

 

Dan stepped into his kitchen and dialed Shannons number, having it committed by memory at this point.

 

“Shan, what the fuck is going on. I was told tomorrow. There is one Philip Lester sitting in _my_ lounge _right_ now.”

 

He was doing the hushed whisper thing with his voice just in case Phil could hear him from the other room. He _didn’t_ think he could hear him, but it was always good to play it safe.

 

_“His publicist just must’ve gotten mixed up on the phone, don’t panic kid. Just play it cool and don’t forget to take the instagram photo.”_

 

Somehow Shannons words comforted him, they always managed to.

 

_Okay. Cool. Play it cool. He could do that._

 

“Okay, I’m gonna go now Shan. I’ll play it cool. I’ve got this.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Shannon or himself more.

 

_“Have fun. Do not forget the instagram picture Dan.”_

 

Right. Get that picture.

 

Dan hung up the phone, feeling much better about the situation now that he had Shannon’s wonderful words of wisdom.

 

Despite the newfound confidence, Dan was not too keen on heading back into the lounge and striking up a conversation with his new ‘boyfriend.’ Still, he did the honorable thing and went back into his lounge.

 

“Uhh hey. Thanks for coming.”

 

Phil, clearly startled by Dans reappearance, jumped a bit at the words and dropped his phone onto his lap.

 

“Oh uh, thanks for having me. I mean, thanks for everything. Sorry the situation is- well that this is how we meet.” Phil looked so anxious as he spoke and Dan couldn’t help but feel bad. For the first time he wasn’t thinking about how this would affect himself, Dan was thinking about how shitty Phil must feel after being publicly outed without his consent and then being forced by his management into this ‘relationship.’ Dan had a choice, Phil really didn’t.

 

“What? You mean you don’t meet all your friends through fake relationships to save your reputation?”

 

The humor certainly lightened the mood, both of them had a little chuckle. Dan felt a small sense of accomplishment for lifting the awkward tension.

 

“No, I’d have to say this is a first. So we’re friends?” Phil asked, still sitting on the sofa as Dan stood by the doorway.

 

“Well I hope so, otherwise the next few months are gonna be hella awkward.”

 

Again Phil laughed a little, making Dans stomach do that flip thing. This was going great, Phil didn’t hate him yet.

 

Dan crossed the room and sat down on the sofa next to Phil.

 

“Friends?”

 

Sticking out his hand, Dan waited, hoping Phil would shake on it.

 

“Friends.”

 

And they shook on it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed and I super appreciate the love and support you guys give! Any kudos/ comments/ anons/ notes put a smile on my face! @ratandphilgames on tumblr, feel free to stop by!


	4. in too deep (4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what’s worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! kudos/ comments are super appreciated! also check out my blog @ratandphilgames on tumblr :)

The 2 boys ended up playing video games for an hour after they decided they’d become friends, which went surprisingly well. They were really just big nerds too tall for their own good, and it showed when they played video games.

 

Conversation flowed easily, bants were abundant, and afterwhile they both forgot they were there because of their fake relationship, it just felt like hanging out. It’d been a long time since Dan had just hung out with someone who was genuine and didn’t want something from him. At least with Phil he was upfront with what he wanted from Dan, it was all in contract form to keep it clear.

 

“Wotch your back Daniel, I’m creeping up on you.” Phil yelled as he gripped his controller more intensely.

 

In any other setting Dan would’ve been frightened by this sentence, but seeing as it was because Dan was currently in first place in an intense game of mario kart 8, it was rather acceptable. They were on the first lap of the animal crossing track, season: autumn, and Dan had already pulled ahead as he spent far too much time playing mario kart in his free time. When you don’t know who you can trust, mario kart will always be there for you.

 

“Oh are you? ARE YOU?” Dan had a bad habit of getting way too loud when it came to competitions. He was howling in a way that could be deemed offensive had he been playing with a different person, Phil however, just laughed at him as he attempted to catch up.

 

“Yes! You’re going down!” Phil shrieked, and before Dan even knew what was happening he was hit with a blue shell, effectively knocking him out of his first place position and letting Phil take the lead.

 

“YOU LITTLE SON OF A PFFT PSH PFT.” Dan was trying not to swear too much, as to leave a good first impression on his fake boyfriend, but goddamn it was hard. He ended up just making random exhales of air as he tried to earn back his spot in first place.

 

Phil found so much joy in that little blue shell moment, his eyes were lit up and he was laughing like a maniac and just a little part of Dan felt that it was worth letting him win if he got to see him being so happy. The rest of Dan wanted to crush all his hopes and dreams as he destroyed him at mario kart.

 

They kept up the back and forth game of going between 1rst and 2nd until the third lap when Dan had pretty much established himself as winner in his own eyes. That was until the biggest upset in the history or time when Phil got the bullet on the last corner and won by a very small margin. Needless to say Dan threw his controller and Phil laughed so hard he was snorting.

 

“I won! Take that, Danny boi!” Phil had stood up on his couch and stared down at Dan in victory.

 

“Danny boi? Oh god this is embarrassing. Losing mario kart in my own home, to a _noob_.” Phil was hardly a noob, but Dan liked to tease. He glossed over the fact that he’d earned himself a new nickname, one he’d surprisingly never heard before. After his high school experience with gems such as ‘dick loving dan’ and ‘homo howell’ he’d have thought he’d heard every variation of his name possible, but Phil was constantly coming up with new ways to surprise him.

 

Mid gloat Phil’s phone started buzzing nonstop and he put a pause on his victory chant to reach down and grab the vibrating device. Phil plopped himself back down onto a seated position as he checked his phone to see who his caller was, as Dan started deciding on the next track they should play.

 

“Oh, uh, I’ve got to take this, it’s my manager.”

 

Dan barely looked up as he waved him off to allow him to go answer his phone. As Phil exited the room he could hear a greeting being exchanged and then some whispering. If he tried he could make out the words, but that was wrong, right? Eavesdropping was bad and he shouldn’t do it. Dan maintained that idea until he heard his name spoken and then curiosity got the better of him. He crept quietly, almost spy like towards the entryway of his living room, just far enough that he could better hear, but not too far that it would be unnatural if Phil were to walk back in and see him. Dan was just hanging out on the edge of the couch, nothing weird about that.

 

“It’s going okay, Liam. He seems cool, everything will be fine.” Phil was pacing back and forth through the hallway, making parts of his sentence quieter than the rest, but the message Dan received was loud and clear in his ears. Phil Lester thought he was cool.

 

Suddenly all those fanboy feelings Dan had been repressing through the time they spent together were resurfacing as he played those words over and over and over again in his head. All that mumbo jumbo about Phil being just a regular guy flew out the window as Dan heard himself being complimented by one of the most iconic actors of the recent era (and not to mention overall attractive man).

 

_Phil Lester thinks you’re cool._

 

That was one hell of a confidence booster.

 

Dan zoned out and missed  the rest of the convo because goddamnit he was _cool_. Shans advice really worked, he played it cool and it payed off in the end.

 

As Dan’s brain was still processing the idea that he was _cool,_ he heard Phil’s footsteps and realized he must’ve hung up the phone and was headed back towards the lounge, back to Dan. As this truly hit Dan, he scrambled to seem casual, natural, and _cool_.

 

“Hey, I think I’m going to head off soon, manager called my car already.” Phil said as he made his reappearance, seemingly not noticing Dan’s less than usual behavior.

 

“Okay, cool.”

 

_Fucking hell don’t say cool, that makes it seem like you were eavesdropping._

 

Dan _had_ been eavesdropping but he didn’t want Phil to _know_ he’d been listening in. Already feeling the effects of guilt for being a sneaky little shit, Dan made sure to avoid meeting Phil’s gaze, although that probably just made him seem even more sketchy.

 

“Yeah, so, thanks for having me over, and for the whole- ya know, fake boyfriend stuff. Really saved me there.” Phil was fidgeting with his fingers as he stood awkwardly by the lounge entrance, having yet to step back into the room as he knew he’d be leaving soon.

 

“Oh yeah, sure. No problem, should be fun. Speaking of which, what’s the next thing we need to do?” Dan asked, unsure how to about this thing. They needed to be spotted together a lot to be seen a realistic couple, and with paparazzi swarming the both of them at the moment, it wouldn’t be hard to strike up buzz.

 

“Uhhh probably just more social media stuff, get people hooked. We’re ‘like a drug’ to the fans according to my agent.” Phil shifted uncomfortably as he quoted his agent, clearly as uneasy about the way it sounded as Dan was. A drug? What did that even mean?

 

“Sooooooooooooo should we hang out like this again sometime? Soon?” Maybe Dan was just hoping he could spend more time with Phil, but he could paint it as part of the deal and nobody would ever have to know the difference.

 

“Yeah, I’ll text you.” Dan simply stared at Phil because how in the hell did he have his number? Did his publicist give it to him? This whole goddamn time they could’ve been texting each other? And they weren’t?

 

“That was a hint for you to give me your phone so I can put my number in it.” Phil said with a chuckle.

 

_Oh._

 

Dan grabbed his cell off the little coffee table, the place he’d set it down when they first started playing mario kart, and stood to hand it to Phil, trying to keep his head down so his blush wasn’t too apparent.

 

_Of course he wants your number, you have to communicate somehow. Don’t read too much into this, don’t read too much into this, don’t read too much-_

 

“We still need to take that picture, ya know, to make us instagram official.” Phil said, startling Dan out of his thoughts and handing him back his phone. Phil really typed fast.

 

“Yeah, Shannon- er my manager- will kill me if we forget. Like actually behead me, like hide the guillotine.”

 

Phil just laughed at his weird attempt at humor, bless his little heart.

 

“Alright well let’s do this thing, I’d rather like you to keep your head attached to your body.”  

 

Dan tapped around on his phone a little bit and pulled up the camera and both boys positioned themselves so that the lighting was okay and they could both be seen effectively.

 

They took a few of them together, smiles bright with Phil peeking over Dans shoulder.

 

And then Phil did something unexpected.

 

He reached his long neck over and planted a soft lil kiss onto Dan’s cheek, right over his dimple and Dan, unsure of how to react, just kept snapping pictures. And once Phil felt they had a sufficient amount to pick from with the cheek kisses, he snuggled his face into Dan’s neck and Dan just kept taking those pics, his body wanting him to have a completely different reaction.

 

_Holy fuck._

 

Just as fast as Phil had attached to himself Dan he was backed away, the smile not leaving his face though.

 

“Sorry, hope that wasn’t awkward.”

 

“Oh, no, you’re fine, we’re both actors right? Totally fine. I’ll go through and find the good ones and post them later. Gotta call my mum first or she’ll be livid, ya know how it is.”

 

Dan was rambling, trying to make the situation seem casual when really his insides were ready to explode out of his ass.

 

“I haven’t even told my mom about the whole gay thing. I’m not quite sure how she’ll take it, so I just kind of… put it off.”

 

All Dan wanted to do was hug the guy, all the dumb crush feelings forgotten as he remembered how rough things actually were for Phil right now. Publicly outed, not even getting a chance to tell his family. It sounded like hell, yet he was handling it like a champ. Almost too well.

 

“That’s no good. You’ve gotta talk to your mum, call her up. Throw down the facts. If she doesn’t like it then I’ll be your mum from now on, simple as that.”

 

Phil laughed a little at that last part, but overall seemed uncomfortable with the idea. Dan could definitely see why, it was terrifying to think that the one person that’s supposed to love you unconditionally could turn you away simply for being true to yourself, but he also knew that finding out your son was gay from the internet was 100 times worse than hearing it from him.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

“Call me up if you need emotional support, I know a thing or two about this whole ‘coming out’ bullshit.” It had been a daunting process for Dan, no one in his family understood what being bisexual even meant, he was constantly being asked if he was sure he wasn’t just gay or just straight but in time they learned and now’s in a pretty good place with his family.

 

“Thanks, I might take you up on that offer. Maybe.”

 

“You can’t run away from your problems.”

 

“I can try.” Phil said with a shrug.

 

“You’re a mess Lester.”

 

“Well when you get your shit together and post on instagram, I’ll officially be your mess.”

 

That stopped Dan in his tracks, unable to think of a witty remark to keep up their little game because _surely_ that was flirting. This wasn’t just Dan making up little things in his head, anyone would interpret that as flirting, right? If this was just for the public Phil wouldn’t have said that inside the confidence of Dan’s home, where nobody was around to hear them.

 

Lucky for Dan, the buzzer went off moments later, covering his ass.

 

Dan quickly moved from the lounge, where they were standing, to his little foyer, and over to the intercom.

 

“Hello.” Dan said into the little microphone, realizing Phil had followed him into the room only after he felt a little tickle of breath on his neck.

 

_“I’m here to pick up Phil Lester, and no sir, this isn’t a prank.”_

 

Dan felt just a little embarrassed as he typed in the password to open the gate. He had only been asking if he was being pranked because he’d been told the wrong day, it was a valid question at the time, now it just felt a little silly.

 

“Alright, well, I’ll see you later I guess.” Dan said.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be looking out for your instagram post.”

 

“You better turn on notifications.”

 

“Oh, I will.”

 

Again, Dan had a blush on his face because of Phil.

 

The doorbell began ringing and before he opened the door, Dan looked over at Phil and said “don’t forget about your mum, Phil,”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

Dan smiled at him and Phil smiled back and then Dan opened up the door and stepped out of the way so that Phil could get through. Standing there, outside, was the same muscular man that had been with him when Phil was left at Dan’s home less than 2 hours ago.

 

It didn’t feel like that little of time had passed, yet it truly had been less than 2 hours. Dan waved as Phil got into his car, making it seem like a bigger thing than it was for all the people with cameras lined up behind his iron gate which he was certain were taking pictures like mad.

 

After Phil’s car had pulled away, Dan went back inside and immediately flopped down onto the couch and clicked the tv off from when they were playing mario kart earlier.

Dan was in deep. So incredibly deep.

 

This little rendezvous only furthered Dan’s suspicion that he liked Phil, like a lot. He was just as fantastic in real life as Dan had imagined which was really just a big problem.

 

What’s one to do when they like their fake boyfriend? That’s just a whole new level of complicated that Dan didn’t want to delve into just yet. So he just put it off, the exact thing he’d advised Phil against doing.

  
God, he was in _so so_ deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed <3


	5. hey look ma i made it (5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what’s worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! @ratandphilgames on tumblr. shoutout to ari from the writing gc for the name 'ocean eyes' lol. comments/ kudos appreciated! tw: homophobia mentioned in this chapter

 

_ “Do you like me Dan? Are you trying to say you’re a big old gaylord?”  _

 

_ Dan was shaking his head furiously, trying to find a way to make it out of the room without being killed. There was no way out, there was never a way out. The room had no doors, no windows, no hope for escape. Just rows and rows of lockers. _

 

_ He was in his teenage body, but his mind was aged adequately.  _

 

_ “Have you got a big fat gay crush on me Dan?”  _

 

_ He was cornered in the school hallway, conveniently, no teacher in sight, whether that was on accident or by design, Dan would never know. Sometimes he thought the educators turned a blind eye towards moments like these, thinking the little gay boy needed to be put in his place. A shiner wouldn’t do him any harm. A bruise would heal but a message would last forever.  _

 

_ The boy had no face, he was slenderman esq in his school uniform as he walked closer and closer to Dan, leaving no option for escape as Dan backed himself into the corner.  _

 

_ “Please don’t hit me.” Dan begged, the boy just laughed. All he ever did was laugh and taunt and corner him.  _

 

_ Suddenly people were crowding around, watching, humiliating him.  _

 

_ “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” the audience was chanting, knowing full well Dan wouldn’t fight back. He never fought back, his limbs seemed to be made of cement but even if they weren’t he wouldn’t retaliate.  _

 

_ The boy with no face raised his fist, prepared to pummel Dan into nothing, his peers screaming their support for his attacker, losing their shit as the faceless boy prepared to attack.  _

 

Right before the faceless boy could hit him, Dan’s eyes shot open and he looked around to realize he was not in his old school hallway, but rather his lounge. He’d fallen asleep on his couch the night before after Phil had left. 

 

His heart was beating a mile a minute as he tried to get his bearings on the world around him. He always woke up from nightmares feeling as though he’d just run a marathon, his heart working overtime trying to choose between fight or flight when all it really needed to do was wake the fuck up. 

 

_ You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.  _

 

This wasn’t the first time Dan had a dream like this, the feeling of being trapped, cornered, and cowering in fear of the faceless boy. It was reoccuring, to the point where he’d talked about his therapist about it. She said it was just his way of coping with the shit he went through growing up, the intense homophobia that just fueled his depression. 

 

Dan sat on the couch for a long time before he finally felt any motivation to do anything. He tried to regulate his breathing and get his nerves under control, once the initial shock had passed it was all about calming down so he didn’t ruin the whole days productivity. 

 

After he had managed to chill out a little, he felt around the couch, hoping to find his phone. He didn’t really know where it had ended up as he spent most of the time before falling asleep avoiding his responsibility of picking out the pictures he would post of him and Phil. He’d tried, at first, but soon found it made his heart ache just a little too much so he put it off for a later time, a terrible habit that he would have to break one time. 

 

When he finally found his cellular device the first thing he noticed when he went to unlock it was that it was 4 in the fucking morning, Dan was used to going to sleep around this time, not waking up (unless of course there was some sort of weird schedule for being on set for filming, in which case he dragged his butt out of bed at the asscrack of dawn, downing about 5 cups of coffee, and then trying his best. Those days were the ones that required the most takes to get the right scene.) The second thing Dan noticed about his phone was the fact that it was almost completely dead as he hadn’t been charging it all night. 

 

With a big fat groan Dan got up from the couch, walked into his bedroom and plugged his phone in, giving it the sweet juice it so desired. After that business was out of the way, he shuffled through his dresser and found some pajamas, or rather some sweats. Whether he would fall asleep again was still up in the air, but Dan was still wearing the skinny jeans he’d been wearing yesterday and it was just too uncomfortable to deal with anymore. How did he even fall asleep with such suffocating pants on? 

 

Falling asleep so soon after a dream such as the one he had would almost certainly result in having the same terrible experience again. It was still too fresh in his mind, he’d have to find a way to get the memory of it out his brain completely if he wanted to have a peaceful rest. That being said, if he just got up for the day now, at 4am, he could nap anytime during the day as he had literally nothing to do. 

 

The bad thing about acting is that you worked a shitton for a few months or less and then you’d made your years salary and you could just fuck around for the rest of the time, but for Dan, that just resulted in a lot of lounging and playing video games and general unproductivity. Working was a constant, it required him to get up and have a schedule and he actually enjoyed what he was doing most of the time, even if the hours were shitty. When he had all the time in the world to lay around, Dan would do exactly that, not being able to coax his mind into doing something productive. 

 

In the end Dan just decided to stay awake, he put on a pot of coffee and skimmed through twitter. The buzz around him and Phil was getting more serious, but some fans were adamant that Dan was secretly seeing his co-star Adam Devore, despite the fact that they hadn’t seen each other once since filming wrapped for ‘Switch Hitter’ and probably wouldn’t see each other until press for the movie officially started. 

 

It was the way the trailers painted them that made people so sure they were together, people forgot it was for the movie and that they’d both been  _ acting _ . Still, he couldn’t blame them, and soon enough the whole thing would blow over once him and Phil had officially made their debut. 

 

There was definitely a lot of speculation over the nature of Dan and Phil’s relationship since the first photo had come out of Phil and the boy who looked startlingly like Dan kissing. Some people assumed it was Dan, some defended that it couldn’t be, and some just didn’t give a shit. It would certainly hit the news that Phil had stopped by his place by the time the sun rose completely and shortly after that the photos of them together would be on Dan’s instagram, making it ‘official’ so to speak. 

 

Once Dan started thinking about the photos and the events of the night prior, he couldn’t stop. He was also reminded that he needed to call his mum, better to get it over now than wait for her to see the tabloids. She was constantly checking entertainment news sources for Dans name in the headlines, claiming he didn’t keep her up to date enough so she’d figure out what was going on in his life herself. 

 

His mum was 8 hours ahead of him, meaning that if Dan did his calculations right it was just about noon back in Wokingham. The perfect time to receive a call from your son informing you that he was seeing a boy. 

 

Truth be told Dan wasn’t really sure how his mum would react to the news. She was constantly hounding him about finding someone who was good to him, but that was just because he worried about him being all alone in such a lonely position. Sure, he had the people who admired his work, and a handful of diehard fans, but at the end of the day he was going to bed alone and spending the majority of his days by himself. True, in this relationship he would still be going to bed alone, but at least his mums mind would be put to ease. 

 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about lying to her about such a big thing, but in the end Dan decided it was better for her health if she wasn’t so worried about her son, so really this was doing her a favor, right? 

 

After his phone had a little while to charge, Dan unplugged it and proceeded to go to his contacts, found his mum, and tried not to put too much thought into it as he clicked the little call button. 

 

_ Ring. Ring. Ring.  _

 

“Hello?” his mum greeted. 

 

“Hi mum.” 

 

“Oh blimey, Daniel isn’t it near 4 in the morning, what’re you doing up?” She was a lot quicker at her time zone math than Dan was. 

 

“I woke up early and I needed to give you a ring anyways.” 

 

This sparked her attention immensely. 

 

“You needed to ring me? What about? Are you alright?” 

 

“Yes mum, I’m fine, I just wanted to talk to you about something before the entertainment news got ahold of the story.” 

 

“Oh, alright, well then, spill the tea, bear.” 

 

There was so much for Dan to unpack in that one sentence from his mum. First of all did she just say ‘spill the tea’? She truly had been spending too much time reading gossip, it was getting scary. Second of all she called him ‘bear’, something that he’d actually quite missed. His childhood nickname held a soft spot in his heart, he felt waves of nostalgia and comfort from such a simple thing. 

 

“Okay, wow, okay. Uh. I’ve started seeing someone.”

 

His mum gasped, actually audibly gasped. 

 

“Dan! That’s fantastic! Is it that boy from the movie you just shot?” 

 

Great, even his mum had heard the rumors about him and Adam fucking Devore. You film one movie with someone and suddenly your mum and everyone else on twitter thinks you’re dating, good god. 

 

“No, oh my god mum. It’s not Adam.” 

 

“Well then who is it?” 

 

“Uhhhh, you remember how over Christmas we watched that romance movie, I think it was called ocean eyes? Anyways I’m seeing the guy who played the fiance in that film. Phil Lester.” 

 

“Oh, he was lovely! I told you to find someone who treated you like he treated his girlfriend and now look! I practically got you two together.” 

 

Dan had forgotten about the offhand comment his mum had made during their viewing but now that he thought about it, she did mention finding Phil ‘charming’. That was around the time Dan’s little crush on Phil had started. His mum was a psychic? Who could’ve seen this coming? 

 

“Good job mum, you’re an everyday cupid.” 

 

“Of course. Well, I’ve got to go, your aunt was supposed to meet me for lunch and she just texted, so I better get a move on.” 

 

“Okay, have a nice lunch, tell her I say hi.”

 

“I will, and hey Dan, if things get serious, do you promise that you’ll bring this boy home for me to meet?” 

 

Dan’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe this was going too far. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned anything to his mum. Maybe this was all a mistake. Everything was getting too real. 

 

“Yeah, I promise.” 

 

They said their goodbyes and his mum hung up to go have lunch with his aunt, leaving Dan to himself at what was now 4:30 in the morning. 

 

The obvious thing to do would be pick out the photos he was going to post on his instagram later that day now to get it out of the way, but Dan decided to instead watch anime for 2 hours as he sipped his coffee and found some cereal to eat. Only then could he flip through the pictures he and Phil had taken the day previous. 

 

They looked cute together, that was undeniable. It looked genuine too, not just on Dans part, they looked happy, in love, together.  Most of all they looked extremely convincing. 

 

Dan picked out one photo from each pose, one with them smiling, one with Phil kissing his cheek, and one with Phil nuzzling into Dan’s neck. 

 

He made sure they both looked nice in each of the photos before finding a black and white filter (he had an instagram theme to uphold) and making final decisions. 

 

Out of all the pictures they took, one was by far Dan’s favorite, but it wasn’t post worthy. He’d managed to snap a picture the moment Dan realized Phil’s lips were pressed against his cheek, the look on his face was absolutely priceless. 

 

After thinking about it for awhile, Dan decided that maybe he should send the pictures to Phil, get his approval before posting and all that. 

 

_ Don’t overthink it, just send him the photos and move on with your day. Don’t hyperfocus on this one message to the point of not being able to do anything else with your time. Just don’t do it. _

 

Trying not to think too much about it, Dan went to his contacts, started a message with Phil (or the number Phil had put in his phone, he really hoped it was his personal number and not like his publicist or something.) and send the 3 photos he’d picked out along with a short and sweet “caption?” as Dan hadn’t yet decided what he would caption the post and was hoping Phil had some sort of idea. 

 

He put his phone down after that, knowing that if he stayed on it he’d end up refreshing his texts every few seconds and that just wasn’t healthy. Instead he spent his time doing literally anything but that, he went through his closet, organized his movie collection, showered, and vacuumed. 

 

By the time his anxious productive energy had worn off it was nearing noon for him. He finally decided to grab his phone again. 

 

_ 3 new messages.  _

 

One was from his mum, telling him that lunch with his aunt had gone well, the next was from Shannon the momager, asking if she needed to arrange a car for Dan for any reason today, and then the third. The third message on his phone was from one Phil Lester. 

 

He was too nervous to open it. After a whole day of ignoring his phone for this exact reason, he couldn’t bring himself to look at the text he’d gotten. 

 

Eventually (too long for Dan to admit) he decided to just do it, to open the notification and see the doom that was waiting for him. 

 

From: Phil 

 

_ caption it “the cats out of the bag” or something  _

 

_ we look cute ;)  _

 

The sexual tension was too much for Dan as he stared at the winky face. That was flirting right? That was definitely flirting. There was no such thing as a platonic winky face, then again maybe Dan was reading too much into things, that was something he tended to do. 

 

_ Just calm down you chicken nugget.  _

 

With Phil’s blessing Dan focused his crazed energy on formulating his instagram post. But then he thought ‘maybe I should give Phil a heads up before posting this’ and then he wondered if he was supposed to tell Shannon or Sam that he was going to post this. How much was he really supposed to do and where did Phil’s publicist step in? 

 

Against his better judgement Dan formulated a text to Phil asking him if it was okay if he posted the photos, and then he wrote out a similar one to Shannon. 

 

An hour later he had an answer from both of them. 

 

From: Shannon the momager

 

_ all this stuff is up to you bby, this isn’t like acting, you don’t get a script.  _

 

And

 

From: Phil

 

_ yeah! I’m okay with that, thanks again <3 _

 

A heart? A HEART? Dan was literally going to have a heart attack, why did Phil have to be so damn flirty? It was too much for him to handle. 

 

With the final confirmation from both sides of the story, Dan made the final instagram post, captioned it with ‘guess the cats out of the bag now’ and clicked share, before all his anxiety could manifest into a person and physically beat him up. 

 

Emotionally drained from all the intense feelings and physically drained from waking up at 4am, Dan plugged in his phone and crawled into his nice comfy bed, ready for a nap. 

 

As he drifted off his thoughts were warm and positive, any trace of the horrid dream he’d woken up from earlier vanished. 

 

He was nervous, scared, but most of all, he was happy.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed <3 @ratandphilgames on tumblr, comments/ kudos v appreciated!


	6. coffee date (6)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what’s worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! sorry i've been missing thursday updates, it's been a rough couple of weeks, but i really want to get back on schedule! hope you liked the chapter! if you did, please leave me a neat lil comment, they really make my day :) @ratandphilgames on tumblr!

_ OMG is that phil lester?? I didn’t know he was gay!!! _

 

_ DOES THIS MEAN ADAN IS DEAD I CAN’T HANDLE THIS  _

 

_ theres no way this is real  _

 

_ CONGRATS BABES  _

 

_ Who tops???? _

 

_ Happy for you both! _

 

_ #adan is over, make room for #phan _

 

Thousands of comments flooded the post on Dan’s instagram, most confused, some excited, and a lot upset. Adan, the ship name for Dan and Adam Devore, his co-star which he’d never so much as hinted at a relationship with, was mentioned seemingly endlessly. 

 

Along with the surplus of comments, Dan’s dms had  _ exploded _ . Friends, choice family members, and celebrity acquaintances alike were swamping his direct messages. 

 

adaripp sent you a message: this is everything

 

theellenshow sent you a message: Congrats love birds! Can’t wait to talk about your new relationship on my show!

 

sebreband sent you a message: u kiddnapped another boy??? omg dan! 

 

jvn: yassssssssssssssss henny 

 

adrianhowell sent you a message: congrats bro, u should’ve given me a heads up tho

 

nickjonas: hey buddy congrats on the new bae  

 

After Dan had responded to the people that mattered (mostly just with a simple ‘lol’ or a laughing emoji, he really didn’t want to get into an in depth conversation about Phil just yet) he closed instagram and went into answering texts. 

 

Shannons texted him congratulating him on finally posting the damn photos, his mum sent him a few heart emojis, and his grandma sent him a full novel about how happy she was that he was growing up and finding himself in a ‘stable’ relationship. His family seemed to be making lots of assumptions based on who Phil was.

 

As Dan was midway through responding to his grandmas text he got a notifications for a new text. A text from none other than the man of the hour, Phil Lester. 

 

From: Phil

 

_ people are really excited about us ! _

 

And before Dan could even switch chats another notification came in. 

 

From: Phil

 

_ I can’t believe you didn’t tag me tho :(  _

 

Had he really forgot to tag Phil? He’d looked over the post several times to ensure it was all correct (although it was very difficult to get ‘the cats out of the bag’ wrong) and he could’ve  _ sworn _ he had remembered to tag his instagram. 

 

Quickly he went over to his post and checked, sure enough nobody was tagged in the photo. 

 

Seeing the two of them being so cuddly and fond looking sent butterflies charging back into Dans stomach. They were violent and persistent little fuckers. 

 

From: Dan 

 

_ whoops sorry  _

 

What kind of person typed out whoops? Whoops? Was he high? Why could he not formulate real, understandable words when texting Phil? 

 

In an attempt to cleanse his mind and soul of the deep rooted anxiety Dan felt over sending that text, he focused his attention on replying to his grandma, which he still hadn’t done. 

Moments after he finished typing out his text for his grandma and sent it, Dan received another text from his pal Phil. 

 

From: Phil

 

_ it’s okay _

 

_ it’s just  _

 

_ how will people know who your incredibly attractive boyfriend is?  _

 

Despite knowing that they were ‘dating’, despite having this information for a few days now, despite signing a literal contract telling him this, he still got chills reading the word ‘boyfriend’. 

 

From: Dan

 

_ i think you meant my very humble boyfriend :p _

 

A for effort. At least this time he didn’t say ‘whoops’. 

 

From: Phil 

 

_ hahaha  _

 

_ do you want to hang out today?  _

 

7 words. 7 words threw Dan’s guts into an abyss. Did he want to hang out today? Could his heart handle it? 

 

Before he let himself answer, Dan knew he needed to make a call. 

 

_ Three rings.  _

 

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of the line asked.

 

“Hey Shan, I need you to knock some sense into me.” 

 

In times of crisis Shannon was always there to both help him in business practice and give him motherly advice. He talked to her about literally every issue ever, and no matter how stupid she always listened. 

 

“What did you do this time?” 

 

“I think I might like Phil a little too much.” 

 

There was a pause, a distinct sigh, and then:

 

“Dannnnnnnnnnnnnnn this was supposed to be business.” 

 

“I know, I know, that’s why I called. I just needed to be reminded of that.” 

 

“Okay, well, you’re legally bound to see out this fake relationship for 6 months so keep it in your pants for the time being, and just fill your little head with thoughts of after. Once the contract times out you can try your hand at love and all that junk.”  

 

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks mum.” 

 

Every once in a while, when Dan was feeling sentimental, he would call Shannon mum. She truly was a second mom to him. A manager when needed, a support system the rest of the time. 

 

“Awwwww Daniel, you’re going to make me cry.”  

 

“What can I say, I move people to tears.” 

 

“Alright Howell, don’t push it. So was that all you needed?” 

 

“Yeah. I’ll call you later.” 

 

“Okay, bye love.” 

 

“Byeeeee.” 

 

Dan clicked to end the call, feeling much better about the situation. He always ended calls with Shan feeling a sense of stability and comfort, she was damn good at her job. 

 

Having this newfound respect for the contract he signed and realigning his morals, he texted Phil back and told him hanging out would be cool. 

 

Dan actually used the word cool. 

 

They made plans to get coffee at some overpriced cafe that famous people frequented. It was some sort of bullshit that Phil’s publicist recommended due to the paparazzi that would undoubtedly be there already. Dan had been there once before, it was okay, expensive but good drinks. 

 

An hour later Dan was climbing into the backseat, riding in awkward silence next to the ever buff, Andreas. Repeating over and over in his head “be cool, be calm, be collected.” 

 

They were gonna be in public which meant no talking about how they weren’t actually together. It would be the first test of acting like a real couple, not just for pictures, but for people surrounding them as well. It was a proper acting challenge. One without a script, and no conversation about character development beforehand. 

 

_ Be cool, be calm, be collected.  _

 

Dan arrived first to the little coffee shop. He sat down at a little booth, secluded from at least a few peoples view. Andreas set up shop a little ways away, trying to look inconspicuous as to not ruin Dan’s time. Apparently in bodyguard school (or whatever training he had) they were taught how to duck out of situations while still being in control and ready to swoop in and save the day just in case something went awry. 

 

There was a surprising lack of fans swarming Dan, he didn’t like to toot his own horn, it was just that he didn’t like to leave his house because he felt like he was constantly being followed and watched, today wasn’t really reflecting that. 

 

Just as Dan was thinking he wasn’t quite such hot stuff, a girl of about 16 years of age with curly short blonde hair stumbled over to his booth and Andreas shot up. 

 

“Hi, I don’t mean to bother you, but are you Daniel Howell?” 

 

The girl seemed harmless so Andreas sat back down. 

 

“Yes, hello.” Dan responded with a smile. 

 

“Oh my god, it’s so cool to meet you, I’ve never met someone famous!” 

 

“Would you like a selfie?” 

 

The girl nodded exuberantly and pulled her phone out of her pocket, clicking swiftly onto the camera and holding it out in front of them. Dan did a dimpled smile as she clicked the shutter button.

 

“Well, uh, thanks for talking to me!” 

 

Before Dan could respond, the girl scurried away to where he presumed she was eating with her friends or family. 

 

Andreas made brief eye contact with Dan, confirming that everything about the interaction was fine. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing of concern. They’d developed this routine after fan interactions so they could silently communicate if there was any danger. It was comforting knowing Dan didn’t need to cause a scene to alert Andreas that he was uncomfortable. 

 

Almost instantly after the girl had walked away, Dan’s phone did a little ding, alerting him to a new message. 

 

From: Phil 

 

_ are you here ? _

 

Here, Dan assumed, meant the cafe. Thinking this meant Phil had arrived, Dan stuck his head around the corner of the booth and sure enough that guy with the really dark hair and disgustingly dreamy eyes was standing at the door looking around. Their eyes met and in an attempt to remain  _ cool _ , Dan waved him over. 

 

Phil walked over and slid into the opposite side of the booth as his bodyguard went and sat at the table with Andreas. It felt so ridiculous to have not one but 2 trained buff guys there to protect them, but the hate was real and with Phil having just come out and Dan being openly bisexual, it was just dangerous. People were full of hate and often times see it as their place to portray that. 

 

“Hey,” Phil said as he sat down. “Have you gone up and ordered yet?” 

 

As it was a little cafe, you had to walk up and order your crap. 

 

“No, was waiting for you to show up.” 

 

“Oh, well, whatda want?” Phil asked. 

 

“I always get a latte, I’m too uncultured to try anything else.” 

 

“Okay, be right back.” 

 

Before Dan could argue, Phil was up and gone, standing in line behind a tall woman with vibrant red hair, Phil turned around and shot him a goofy thumbs up. 

 

Dan was unsure if he should follow him and wait in line with him. What was the protocol for this type of thing?

 

_ Holy shit.  _

 

This was like their first date. That's powerful. 

 

When was the last time he’d been on a date? High school? Had it really been that long? It was now seeming sad that the only reason Dan was back in the dating game was because he was in a fake relationship. At least he wasn’t the one paying his partner. 

 

Eventually Phil made it back to their table, two lattes and two croissants in hand. There was a moment when Dan was certain the drinks were going to end up on the floor, but Phil managed to dodge the chair whilst keeping the valuables in his hands, which was a major accomplishment. 

 

“I thought you might want a croissant, and if you didn’t I figured I’d just eat both of them.” Phil said as he slid into the booth for the second time. 

 

“Thanks, I’d love a croissant.” 

 

Dan was feeling in a pickle, was he supposed to pay his portion? Should he offer Phil some money? There was no doubt that Phil made more than enough to pay for a latte, it was more about the gesture of it all. Dan wanted them to be equals, not him being Phil’s sugarbaby or something. 

 

As Dan was contemplating what to do about the situation, Phil was getting the bready goodness out of it’s bag and set it on a napkin in front of Dan, along with his cup.

 

“Should I- how are we doing the paying thing?” Dan asked, tired of contemplating it on his own, instead turning to Phil to ask. You can’t keep things to yourself when you’re in a relationship (or so he’s been told). 

“I think I can manage the tab today, you can pick it up next time.” 

 

Implying there was a next time was making Dan feel very conflicted. Of course there was a next time, there was a contract stating there would be a next time, but he still couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of excitement at the statement. 

 

“Deal.” Dan said as he went to take a bite out of the croissant Phil put in front of him. 

 

It was a really damn good pastry. Dan was pretty sure he moaned while eating, but sometimes that’s just how it be. 

 

Phil, on the other hand, had not yet dug into his treat, and was instead watching Dan, laughing at his reaction. 

 

“You enjoying yourself there Howell?” Phil asked, a very amused look on his face. 

 

“Yes I am, thank you very much. This damn croissant is orgasmic.”  

 

“Oh my god, I can’t take you anywhere.” 

 

“You have to take me  _ everywhere _ .” 

 

It was weird to reference the contract like that, but really it wasn’t an unusual thing for couples to say. Or was it? Dan had no clue, but it was fun and he was having a good time and the air felt flirty. 

 

Phil rolled his eyes and began eating his own flaky treat, to which he had a similar reaction to Dans (minus the excessive moaning). 

 

“Okay, you’re right, this is  _ really _ good.” 

 

“Told you so.” Dan replied. 

 

It was at that moment Dan realized there were photographers around. He supposed it was a good thing, in this case. The more he and Phil were spotted doing cute coupley things the more believable the story, still, he couldn’t help but feel a little pellet in his stomach, like something intimate and private was being broadcasted. He just needed to remember they were only being intimate and private because of the cameras, not the other way around. 

 

They finished their drinks and croissants in relative silence, the occasional glance or exchange of smiles, Phil having noticed the cameras and also Dan’s change in demeanor. 

 

It wasn’t awkward persay, Dan knew better than to act obvious about the situation, it was his whole job to make this relationship realistic, but it was clear the vibe was different than it was before he’d noticed the paparazzi. 

 

It was kind of a reminder to Dan to reel it in. 

 

After 20 minutes of sipping lattes and finishing orgasmic croissants, it was clear their business at the little cafe was done. 

 

“Soooooo…” Phil pursed his lips, elongating the word to the furthest extent. 

 

“So.” 

 

“You wanna come to my place?” 

 

Little butterflies with chainsaws flooded Dan’s stomach. 

 

“Sure.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ratandphilgames on tumblr! please leave a comment/ kudos if you enjoyed! if you didn't enjoy,,,, sorry pal

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated! also anons on my phan blog @ratandphilgames :) ily


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